Look, there are seven stupid mistakes that almost every guy makes some time when looking for the love of their life on the dating websites. The results are frustration and disappointment. But you can avoid these mistakes completely!

Here they are:

1 – Winks and Smilies. Taking the easy way out

There are more dating sites than you can shake a stick out and competition for members is fierce. Most of the sites compete by adding gimmicky features like “winks,” “smilies,” “nudges,” or even worse “so-and-so likes you” flags. With just one click, you can send her a wink and let her know she caught your eye. Seems like it could work, doesn’t it?

Well here’s the scoop. Women, even the ugly ones, are swamped with messages from guys. Depending on her looks, she can receive as much as 100 messages a day! We go into a lot more detail in the book, but for now you’ve got the idea. Now get this: for every one message she receives, she might receive as many as 4 winks. So our smokin’ hot gal who’s getting 100 messages a day is also getting 400 winks each day. That’s a lot of winks. Still think your wink will stand out?

So while you think this is a great icebreaker, it’s more of a deal breaker. Balls up and be a man. If you like her, send her a proper message using the techniques and tips detailed in the book.

2 – Sex. Talking about sex too soon in the game.

How can you resist the temptation? You’ve just connected with the hottest gal ever and SHE LIKES YOU! And hey, it has been awhile since you’ve had a decent lay. And let’s not forget you’re hung like a horse, take sex seriously, are willing to try (and have tried) anything, and you’re incredibly good at it. So much so that most women stalk you relentlessly for years after you’ve dumped them. So why not let her know?

I’ll tell you why! Because not only will you creep her out and scare her off, but also EVERY OTHER GUY has told her the exact same thing.

Instead, hold off on the sex and sexy talk. Wait until you’ve established a bit of a face-to-face rapport, or better yet, wait until she allows you to “show” rather than “tell”. My rule of thumb…flirt, be sexy but not creepy, and allow her the opportunity of taking it to the next level.

3 – Profiles. Writing BAD profiles

Believe it or not, and yeah…it was a complete shock to me too, women actually read your profile! Huh. Go figure. So I guess if they’re actually reading them, maybe…just maybe, you should take your time and actually write something decent!

A profile isn’t just a collection of random words thrown together to fill up space. It’s your sales pitch and it absolutely MUST sell you in a positive and attractive light. It’s critical to your very online dating survival.

Most guys write crappy profiles that barely show them as a notch above a cave man. Seriously. Some of the profiles I’ve reviewed look like they were written by a mentally impaired or drunk (or both) four year-old. I just can’t stress enough how important it is to communicate properly and effectively through your profile. It’s the one key factor that will make you stand out above and far ahead of the other 99 guys who messaged her today.

We’ve devoted an entire chapter to writing the ultimate Kick-Butt profile that will command results. So check it out.

4 – Messages. Writing BAD messages and Even Worse Initial Contact Messages

While researching the dating sites for the book, we created contact scripts and sent them to multiple women. Essentially, the same message to as many different gals as possible. For our purposes, that worked out just fine. However, from a dater’s perspective, this isn’t so wise.

In the book, we definitely promote the idea of a contact script. It’s a lifesaver and will save you tonnes of time. Especially if you find something that really works well for you. Why re-invent the wheel? However, one of the other important things taught in the book is that you absolutely MUST read her profile and include something from it in your message to her. You need to find the underlying theme of her profile and repeat it in your initial contact message.

This will make your message feel less canned and far more personable. And it’s personality that will sell you.

5 – Love. Overly romantic too fast

This is a big one. So many guys get sappy and overly romantic in their profiles and contact messages to women. There’s not a lady on the planet that’s going to believe that the moment you read her profile, you fell madly in love with her and can’t live your life without her being a part of it. It reeks of desperation, it makes you look weak, and it’s pretty much guaranteed to make her delete it after she finishes barfing.

Research shows that women receive 3 basic types of messages. The first: the lame attempt at saying hello through the form of a wink, nudge or “U R PRTY CALL ME” message. The second: the sappy love-sick puppy who fell madly in love with her from the very first word of her profile, and he really needs to let her know the incredible impact she’s already had on his life. And the third: a decent, respectable, well thought out and crafted message that is guaranteed to captivate her interest and encourage her to respond.

The vast majority of messages fall into category 1. Well over 90% of the messages researched were of this type. The second type represented 8% of the messages. And a mere 2% were actually well crafted “Kick-Butt” messages that inspired response.

Think about it like this. If she’s received 100 messages, 90 of them will be absolute garbage that she’s going to completely ignore and delete. 8 of them will be sappy love stories or crappy poems that are just going to creep her out – and she’ll delete them. 2 of the messages will be worthy of response. Which category do you want to be in? That’s what I thought!

6 – Impatience. Not giving it enough time

So you didn’t get a response to the category 1 message (wink, nudge, “hey baby”) that you sent. Or, you sent a sappy category 2 love story to her and no response. Maybe you were one of the very rare guys who sent her a category 3 well crafted kick-ass message and nodda.

Here’s the thing. Not everyone is online every single moment of the day. It may take time for her to login. Even then, she may have dozens or hundreds of messages to sort through before she even finds your message. If she’s a decent looking gal with a better than “okay” profile, she could have hundreds and hundreds of messages to sift through. And on top of that, your message may have such an incredible impact on her that she needs time to figure out how to craft an appropriate response (which may end up being a really short sentence because she just couldn’t figure out what to do). Either way, it takes time.

On top of this, women LOVE to be chased. Why? Because it makes them feel that you care enough to make the effort. Now that you know this, it kind of makes sense to be somewhat persistent. Don’t give up just because she deleted your message after reading it or she deleted it without reading it. Try again.

But for sure, give it some time. Just because most things online can be acquired instantly, don’t mistakenly fall into the trap of thinking that you can win her over in a few minutes.

7 – Anger. Getting angry or frustrated and taking it out on her

The fastest way to being labeled a complete jerk and guaranteeing she’ll block you from ever being able to contact her again is to get mad at her. It’s remarkable how many guys will send a message and then within a few hours send an angry rant bitching her out for not having responded.

What’s also amazing is the number of men that will lash out because she responded with a “no thanks” message or deleted their message after reading it without responding at all.

Your best bet is to be a man about the whole thing. If she doesn’t respond within a timely manner (3-7 days), send her another message. If you don’t get a response after that, move on to someone else and let it go.

Now do be aware that someone women can get down right nasty. If she says something offensive or stupid to you, you can play it two ways. You can move on or you can engage in a battle of words. I’d prefer just being a man about it and moving on. So much easier and doesn’t waste any more of my time.

So there you have it. Seven mistake that almost every guy makes and what to do about them.

Jennifer Collins
for The Dating Commando

www.dating-commando.com